West Coast Surf Tour: Postmortem Report

Now that we’ve acclimated to Eastern Standard Time, the kids are back at school (thank sweet Jesus Christ) and Jaci seems to have found the right balance of uppers downers and hallucinogens for her broken bones; it’s a good time to give you all a postmortem of sorts on our epic journey to the west coast!

The spiderbyte posse has been fortunate over the years to find peaceful and beautiful destinations for the family to relax and recharge.  Despite the beauty of the west coast, our recent surfari up the PCH was absoutely nothing like that.

 

The Plan: Follow the trail blazed by the famous Pascowicz clan without all the intercourse in front of the kids and with a few more dollars to blow on souvenirs. Trace the  footsteps of legendary surfers & surf some of the best breaks in the world.

Execution: Rent a humongous RV big enough for all 6 of us and drive it from surf break and skate park up the PCH starting in Carlsbad and ending up in San Francisco.  

Sounds simple, right?   No.....Absolutely not. 

Casualties along the way:
Dad’s iPhone (shattered)

Mom's iPhone (stolen)

First RV (mechanical issues)

Mom's ribs & hand (broken)

Mom and Dad’s love life  (Was it the brats?  The heinous odor of dank wetsuits?  The broken ribs? All of the above?)

Misc.  Bleeders (Puck's toe, Bobby's knee, Mom's right lung)

Any degree of peace & harmony along with our respect for each other (lost)

One family's spirit (broken)

Funny thing, our neighbor called days after our return because they're thinking about taking an RV vacation this summer (fools).  It made us realize we should do the great service of creating a checklist for future travelers.  So, this is for you....

Is an RV Vacation Right for You?

• Do you enjoy being confined to small, often odorous spaces?

• Do you like being surrounded by the sounds of your children fighting for long periods of time?

• Do you like burning through more fuel than the Exxon Valdez?

• Are you comfortable with engaging in conversational cursing with your children?

• How do you feel about trailer park people? (not that there's anything wrong with that)

• Are you comfortable being honked at, flipped off, and yelled at on the Interstate?

• In an emergency, would you be willing to parallel park a 30' vehicle in front of a busy Starbucks?

• Do you have a history of insanity?  A reputation for making poor decisions?

If you answered yes to ALL of these questions, then YES! An RV vacation is perfect for you!

Comments

[Jane Allen Tougas]

You look like Uncle Eddie in Christmas Vacation!!! Laughing my butt off!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Mimi Plumb]

You and Heather are on the same page. You neglected to say anything about your bike ride to the E.R.wth 3 broken ribs ,a broken hand and a bleeding lung, but hey, no big deal

[Heather]

hahahahaha! I have no words. Poor Mom - sounds like a hell of a spill! I hope she and your love life are on the mend!

[Robin]

This is fabulous. You guys are troopers!

[Chipie]

there is a saying in español that goes:

"nothing has been written about cowards"

so in my book you guys are admirable for taking on the griswold-style challenges and beyond that no one else would dare to go near. plus it wouldn't make for such a good story/blog posts without all those huge bumps along the way ;)

xoxoxo

[teep2k]

well, vacation sucked but it was ENTHRALLING from this side of the computer. :) trust me! I'd go home every night with an update for sara "you'll NEVER guess what happened to the spyderbyte crew today"

ps: I like what chipie said too...

[Alexa]

This is great! We thought for a second about he RV, NOT GOING to happen! Thanks for the laughs......you need a do over vacation this year!